By Sydney Yen, logistics coordinator
I’ve always strived to excel in everything I do - whether it was being at the top of my class, winning competitions, or quickly mastering new skills. I always wanted to be the best at everything I did. It’s not because I’m overly competitive or wanted to feel superior to others, but rather to avoid the sense of failure. I knew logically that not being the best at something wouldn’t make me a failure, but that’s how it felt to me. I would get anxious before trying anything new, because if I didn’t master the skill or understand the concept right away, then I wasn’t good enough. I would constantly compare myself to people doing everything better than me. They were smarter, funnier, prettier, sportier. I would struggle with having a negative self-image and be overly critical of myself.
My kindergarten teacher noticed my perfectionist tendencies early on and she always told me “practice makes progress”. She believed that “practice makes perfect” was misleading and caused people to strive for something unrealistic. For me, perfection acts as a barrier to try new things because it’s scary to think I may not succeed. It’s a detrimental cycle because the more I avoid trying new things, the more intimidating they become, making me even less likely to step out of my comfort zone in the future.
During first year, I had so many new experiences: coffee chats, club interviews, business presentations, etc. Not knowing what to expect caused me lots of stress. I didn’t like entering these new situations because I would run the risk of embarrassing myself in front of people. I had to remind myself that I can’t expect to be perfect on the first try. Looking back on my first year, I’m proud of what I accomplished. I gained so much experience and came a long way from where I started.
I’m still working on pushing myself outside my comfort zone and being comfortable with the learning process. I was even procrastinating writing this blog post because what if it wasn’t perfect on my first try? I have to remind myself there’s so much growth in trying new things and making mistakes. Expecting perfection is unrealistic, and it’s much more important to focus on the learning process because practice makes progress.
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